A Lot Of People Claim They Want “Real” Communication, But They Don’t Cultivate Those Spaces
I am lucky to know Sylvester McNutt III; (www.sylvestermcnutt.net) he is a seven-time best selling author and his inspiring works encourage readers to heal, cultivate genuine connections, and find daily purpose. I asked Sylvester to be a guest blogger and share some of his wisdom with you. Sylvester graciously agreed - here he imparts some great information about cultivating REAL communication. Keep reading to learn more about how to develop true, effective communication that builds relationships.
Do you want real communication and genuine connections with people? If so, then you have to get in the habit of being real yourself. So many people are trying to get honest relationships, the corporation to communicate with them truthfully, and for everyone to be on their best behavior for them. However, these are the same people who don’t have an ounce of real anywhere inside of their DNA. How do you expect anyone to communicate with you when you haven’t cultivated a safe space for that?
Below is the quote that started this entire post. It’s written from someone’s point of view who is claiming that they want real communication. I like how they are acknowledging that they may have mad a mistake. I also like how at the end they set a healthy boundary and tell the person not to be upset with them if they haven’t done their diligence and used the proper channel of communication. “Acting upset” or “slamming doors” isn’t going to get you anywhere in life. Sending “rolling eye emojis” or just stating “I’m mad at you” in a passive aggressive tone will never garner you the results that YOU CLAIM you want!
“If I did something wrong, communicate. If I hurt your feelings, make me aware of it. If I didn’t listen well enough, tell me again in a way I’ll understand. If I’m insensitive to your needs, to your desires, or to your thoughts tell me so I can consider them. However, don’t ever hold an attitude with me because you haven’t clearly expressed yourself. I’m a human, not a mind reader. “
— Sylvester McNutt III
Expecting someone to get what you get is a path to failure. Expecting someone to be how you are is more failure. Everyone is their own person. You need communication not expectation. you need to express your wants, needs and curiosities and get out of expecting that others will just somehow magically know. That expectation is silly.
While building companies, friendships, and relationships you will have uncomfortable moments. All you have is communication to solve them. If you get passive aggressive and run away from the uncomfortable conversation, we’ll truthfully, you’ll never grow or resolve problems. Your problems with others will eat you alive, simply because, you refuse to communicate effectively. You’ll get in your ego, get mad and blame others. I see this happen everyday. Don’t be this kind of person. Retrain your brain to seek healthy communication models.
Get it of your ego and out of entitlement. It won’t help you solve conflict.
A truly aware person understands that effective communication is the key to success when building relationships. Effective communication is patient and doesn’t involve screaming, yelling or manipulation. Effective communication involves speaking with compassion, listening to understand and creates a safe space for everyone to feel comfortable expressing their truth in. A lot of people claim to want “real” but a lot of people are not willing to create these “real” spaces.
Sylvester McNutt III is a seven time best-selling author from America. His books include Care Package: A Path to Deep Healing and Lust for Life. His work’s purpose is to inspire the reader to heal, to cultivate genuine connections, and to find daily purpose. Visit him online at www.sylvestermcnutt.net where you can review his work, join his email list, and check out his upcoming events.